out of atuan

welcome, traveler

you've come across my little internet burrow - pull up some moist earth and make yourself at home. i hope you enjoy your stay!

this webspace is a loose and slow-growing collection of things i love and find fascinating. everything here is coded by hand with zero AI. this place should be usable on mobile, but i am far from an expert developer so please try requesting the desktop version if anything is horribly amiss.

i'm redecorating! some things might be broken or missing for a little while, but it shouldn't be long before they're back.

about me: she/her, thirty-something, married, queer, autistic, cPTSD, stoner, leftist, transplant to the American Deep South, occasional mixed-media artist, line cook by day, semi-professional tarot reader by night.

out of atuan button

stuff i like

comfort media, obsessions, inspirations, and other reasons i'm here...

music

i love big layered sounds, the weirder the better. in no particular order, i love:

  • Cosmo Sheldrake
  • Shakey Graves
  • Purity Ring
  • Glass Animals
  • flybeam
  • Lala Lala
  • The Happy Fits
  • bbno$
  • The Greeting Committee
  • Hozier
  • Florence + the Machine
  • Sammy Rae and the Friends
  • Ethel Cain
  • Aurora
  • Audioslave
  • Penelope Scott
  • The Regrettes
  • *repeat repeat
  • We Were Promised Jetpacks
  • Emerson Woolf
  • far too many more to list

books

{visit the library}

i have two series i consider my personal sacred texts. first is the Earthsea Cycle, by Ursula LeGuin - the title of this site is a reference to the second book, Tombs of Atuan, which was fundamental to processing my own trauma. i've read a few of LeGuin's other books and i'm convinced that everything she wrote is transcendent and made of gold, so i plan on working through more of her oeuvre.

the other is the Southern Reach series, by Jeff Vandermeer. a story of strangers and strangeness and unbelonging set against environmental eldritch horror writ large. the omnibus was the first book i bought for my very modest home library. it's hard to explain why it sings to my soul but i think it has something to do with the autistic experience and a reverence for nature.

other books i adore:

  • the Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir
  • the Shades of Magic series by VE Schwab
  • the Dragon Weather series by Lawrence Watt-Evans (highly underrated)
  • the Old Kingdom series by Garth Nix
  • the Bartimaeus sequence by Jonathan Stroud

games

first and foremost, the HerInteractive Nancy Drew mysteries were the formative point-and-click sleuthing adventures of my youth.

{visit the Nancy Drew shrine}

my current hyperfixation is Pokefarm!

{explore the pokedex}

that said, Skyrim is probably my number one comfort game, the one i turn to when i'm anxious. i fell in love with it during the pandemic (when i was unemployed and scared as shit for two straight years) and have since spent hundreds of hours traipsing through Tamriel and pretending i'm not going to end up playing a stealth archer again.

i also have hundreds of hours in My Time at Sandrock, which i love so much i have never actually finished it. i've gotten close a few times, but i always break and start a new save because i can't bear the thought of it ending. you build machines and community in the cutest little desert settlement full of characters that make me squeal and kick my feet from how adorable they are. i highly recommend it, and i can't wait for the next game in the series, My Time at Evershine.

other faves worth mentioning:

  • Stardew Valley, of course
  • the Binding of Isaac
  • early 2000s point-and-click games

tv & film

O Brother Where Art Thou is my favorite movie of all time, which i think may have been a sign from the universe that i was going to end up in the South. School of Rock and Monster House were also formative. best movie i've seen recently is, to no one's surprise i'm sure, Project Hail Mary.

i love modern cartoons, like She-ra and the Princesses of Power, Over the Garden Wall, Hilda, Bee and Puppycat, and Gravity Falls. for anime, i've recently enjoyed/am enjoying Frieren and Witch Hat Atelier. i also love Cowboy Bebop, Dandadan, FMA: Brotherhood, and Cyberpunk: Edgerunners.

other assorted favorites:

  • Avatar: The Last Airbender
  • Legend of Korra
  • Y Tu Mamá También
  • the Murderbot series
  • What We Do in the Shadows series

artists

Van Gogh, Mucha, Haeckel, Jan Toorop, Julie de Graag.

contemporary faves:

favorite themes and media: nature, papercraft, found objects/trash, needlework, journals, geometric designs, repetition, interactivity, strangeness, miniatures, dreamscapes.

youtube

a non-exhaustive list of channels i really appreciate:

podcasts

i have trouble falling asleep if my brain has room to wander, so i calm it down with some comfort content.

The Worst Bestsellers is a current favorite because few things more comforting than a group of mostly women (and one very chatty cat) discussing books i've never read. other entries i like in the genre include:

Fall of Civilizations is a work of art - nice long, well-researched deep dives into lost ancient cultures. i also really like the History of Egypt and History of Philosophy (Without Any Gaps).

while i haven't kept up with the last several years (!) of episodes, i have to mention Welcome to Night Vale because the first couple of seasons had a huge impact on my aesthetic and sense of humor. i still remember exactly where i was the first time i heard Waiting for the Bus in the Rain. i would like to do a deep dive back into this fandom someday!

creatures

the humble and beloved Virginia opossum is the universe's gift to me specifically, and if i had all the money and time in the world i would start a possum rescue and rehab.

my favorite flowers are daffodils, sweet autumn clematis, red spider lilies, and goldenrod.

my favorite birds are the white-throated sparrows that sing their gorgeous little song all winter, but i also love the resident mockingbirds, barred owls, and Carolina wrens.

my favorite bugs/critters are lacewings, gastropods of any flavor, twin-flagged jumping spiders, and hackberry emperors (who often let me pick them up and i love it).

treats

i love gin, particularly with ginger beer and a pinch of salt. i don't always splurge on a fancy bottle, but when i do, i really like Uncle Val's Botanical (especially the orange-flavored one), Sunday Gin, and Gray Whale.

when i need a sensory reset i go dancing. i show up before the dj even sets up and i stay until the bar closes down and i'm sweaty and sore and far more grounded for the experience.

i cannot be trusted around a pack of Sweetarts Chewy Fusions. i don't mess with nicotine of any kind, but i love when someone smokes a Black & Mild around me; i'd almost wear that scent as perfume.