out of atuan

out of atuan turns a year old this month, which feels absurd. i'm proud of how this little place has turned out, but more proud of how much i've actually enjoyed keeping up with it. my daylog especially is such a grounding visual aid for the passage of time.

writing continues to be really hard but i'm managing. my Left Hand of Darkness close read forges on at a glacial pace. i don't know if i'm doing it right but it's up to a few thousand words now and that alone is significant.

embroiled in the world's least important housing drama, as well. we rent from a slumlord who's let our floor rot out from under us. he told us he'd lock us in at our current rent and then immediately about-faced and told us he never said that, so our rent is going up by almost 50%. we thought we might get lucky and be able to move into the neighboring place (same landlord) for a similar price, but we did a walkthrough yesterday and that place is significantly worse than ours - worse floor, more mold, less insulated, leaky, i could go on. so now we get to deal with staying in our current place while our slumlord half-asses a new floor around us and charges us more money for the privilege.

but it's fine, i'm just going to turn the autism to max and never let him say another word that's not recorded in triplicate. we'll have a nice little contract for the full scope and timeline of repairs whether he likes it or not.

edit, after a long and terrible day:

nevermind, the slumlord showed up unannounced and casually told us that he was going to take out our washer and dryer and maybe we can buy them from him. we cannot win in any way that matters and i'm very, very tired.

some things that are happening:

• a friend from a previous workplace works with me again and i'm so glad to have him back
• been successfully socializing - nights out with friends who've moved away but came back to visit, much beloved
• another friend's band is playing a couple shows this week so i have even more excuses to exist out in the world
• i am forcing myself to commit to vending at some art markets leading up to the holidays - a little scary but i've done scarier (is what i'm telling myself)
• invested in some ring splints and i love them a lot - next paycheck i'll get another pair for my other hand because they have made a huge difference
• now in possession of a gorgeous rug care of yet another work friend who's leaving town - hippie christmas is best christmas

left the house! the heat dome finally broke (i love hearing about new types of natural disaster as they're happening to me) and it's still humid but at least it's overcast and a livable temperature. packed up the puter and hiked up to campus to visit the husband and work on some website stuff at a proper desk. it's a thirty minute walk, just enough to break a proper sweat and be really grateful for conditioned air.

sissy moves back out into her new place tomorrow, which is exciting for everyone!

sometimes my brain needs all input and no output for a while. this seems unfortunate from a recovering type-a perspective but i'm trying to take myself less seriously.

i have been socializing more though, and actually having a nice time doing it. two nights out past midnight - an extreme rarity - with friends i'll miss every single shift, alas. i was very demure and held my gin with only mild personal embarassment and lack of spatial awareness.

work is about to kick into high gear for a few months on top of having a bit of management shakeup and massive employee turnover. i'm not really worried but i'm definitely preemptively tired.

see title - murderbot is great and is a rare case where i think the show was done better (at least in some ways) than the book. i'm so glad it got picked back up for a second season because i neeeeed more. five bucks says they combine books two and three.

the summer churn of the american college town is starting and i'm losing a bunch of work friends to bigger and better things elsewhere. it'll be fun to have some new folks coming through but i wish all my favorites weren't disappearing on me all at once.

didn't expect to sink dozens of hours into Palia this month but here we are. my flavor of autism is playing every game like it's a roguelike - iterate, iterate, iterate - so the whole MMO thing is an enjoyable stretch from my comfort zone.

my book pile is starting to appeal to me again. husband has started the Murderbot series and brought a couple home for me, and i'm hoping they'll pull me out of this little minislump. i truly need to block out library time to work on my Left Hard of Darkness close read/thesis/shrine because it's been sitting on my coffee table mocking me for my inadequacy for a good while now.

finally took a long weekend after months and months of wanting one - now that i had an occasion for it, anyway. twas a lovely stretch of cozy autistic pursuits and cozier sleep. not the most exciting way to spend a three-day weekend, but damn if capitalism doesn't make time at home a rare luxury in and of itself.

making some more progress on filling this place a little fuller with words. the games page is on its way.

i really missed having a little blog space on here - i thought i was just going to put everything in the daylog but it turns out that sometimes there are additional thoughts.

since my latest little overhaul i've added lots of stuff to my links page and continued adding titles to the library. the reading urge is slowing down a little in favor of softer and more brainless pursuits, but it'll come back around. i really (like really actually for real) would like to finish my close read of Left Hand of Darkness this month(...???) hopefully. i am notoriously awful with deadlines but i've made a good chunk of progress and really want to write for a while about what that book meant to me.